Welcome to the premiere of Code Red #1

So that we can all fully concentrate on the... ahem... demanding craftwork without the whole thing ending in a bureaucratic or hygienic disaster, we've compiled a few well-intentioned tips for getting along at HardOn.

Don't consider this a set of house rules, but rather a guide to well-intentioned excess.

1. The Paperwork & The Timing

• Timing is everything: We open our doors for entry between 9:00 PM and 11:00 PM. Anyone arriving after that is out of luck (or literally left out in the cold). After 11:00 PM, our doors serve only as an exit – after all, we want to be undisturbed.

• Become part of the family: We love spontaneity, but our membership list doesn't. Anyone who wants to join must be an official LMC member at least three days in advance. No membership, no entry – no matter how sweetly you look. -> Member Registration

• Clothing & Luggage: Your streetwear is safe in our supervised cloakroom. We recommend a small drawstring bag for your personal gear (lube, toys, spare arm).

2. Smoother Gliding & Cleanliness

• Patch Requirement: We know you're going all out. To prevent your HardOn from looking like an oil spill afterward, please use disposable pads.

• Bar Service: If you've forgotten your pads or gloves, the guys at the bar will be happy to help (and we really do mean your gear).
• No Crisco: As much as we appreciate the kitchen, Crisco stays at home. We prefer Xlube, Jlube, and the like. Please bring your own favorite lubricant.
• Cleanup: When the battle is over, be a gentleman: remove your pad, quickly wipe down the area with a paper towel, use the provided disinfectant, and leave the space so the next person doesn't have to call in a crime scene cleanup.

3. Personal Hygiene & Stability

• Pisses & Cleaning: The shower is open! Please bring your own toilet brush. If you still have yours at home: You can get a replacement at the bar.
• Steady Footing (or in your shoes): We know leather and bare skin are sexy, but the floor can get slippery. Sturdy footwear is mandatory. After all, we want you to have a firm footing when you get down to business.
• Take care of yourself: If you feel faint or anything is bothering you, tell your partner immediately. They should then knock on the bar – we'll take care of you.

4. The "Don't spoil the fun" rules

• No paparazzi: HardOn is a cell phone and camera-free zone. Anyone who thinks they have to play director will be kicked out – no return ticket and no refund. What happens here, stays here.
• Sober Excess: We're all about adrenaline and endorphins. Women, minors, intoxicated individuals, or those under the influence of drugs are not permitted inside.
• House Rules: The board and its team have the final say. If we say "not today," we mean it.

5. The Fine Print (For the lawyers among you)

• At Your Own Risk: Everything you do here (and everything done to you) is at your own risk. LMC Vienna and its helpers are not liable for your physical safety, your belongings, or your wardrobe. We are only liable in cases of gross misconduct on our part.
• Club Spirit: LMC Vienna is a club, and HardOn is our home away from home. Everyone who works hard for you here does so voluntarily and in their free time. A "thank you" or a smile (even after fisting) is therefore expressly appreciated.

With that in mind: Roll up your sleeves, grab the lube, and have fun at the first Code Red!